For the first time, I truly know what I want and I know the only way to obtain it.
I’m gunn wait.
Are you the type to gently lead a steady friendship towards romance or the type to dive into romance once you meet that magnetic person?
I’ve always been the type to dive straight in, right when I tasted that electric connection. I was convinced that finding such chemistry is so rare that it should be pounced on when encountered. Whenever I met that intriguing guy–without questioning, I let sparks fly naturally and uncontrollably.
I must say, some of my most exciting and (believe it or not) long-term romances resulted from such an approach. However… I’ve realised that starting a relationship based on that ‘click’ factor is absolutely foolish and more importantly, unsustainable.
When you let passion have it’s merry way, you easily overlook fundamental compatibility issues and (sometimes serious) character flaws. You’re so busy marvelling at his/her attractiveness that you ignore the fact that your values or personalities are actually horribly misaligned. (In no way am I suggesting that you should scrutinize every interesting character you meet. However, I do think there’s value in leashing impulsive passion until you’re certain the person will be worth being vulnerable to).
I feel like I should’ve learned this lesson ages ago.
Have you ever met someone you were intensely attracted to the first time you were introduced, but found yourself less and less attracted as time wore on? Notice that more often than not, people share only their impressive qualities foremost. They talk about their great values, are stimulating, charming, hard working, etc. Such a display can only leave you with an incredibly biased opinion on their character. It’s only when you spend more time with the person that he starts revealing his mundane (and maybe even ugly) traits. Sure he’s vocal about his great values, but he contradicts them through his decision-making. Sure he’s charming, but turns out he’s fundamentally selfish; only stimulating when it’ll benefit him. Sure he’s a hard worker, but turns out he’s actually a workaholic–putting precedence on work over family. As he slowly reveals his true stances and traits, you realise that actually, a relationship with this person would be a nightmare.
Now see the value in halting an emotional investment based on initial impressions? It kills me because I’ve had that very experience before, yet I’m only applying the lessons now.
Anyway, I digress.
At the end of the day…I’m waiting patiently for someone I’m truly compatible and comfortable with (character flaws included), rather than some shmuck I simply ‘click’ with. That being said…I’m sure the next exciting character I meet is going to tempt me to reciprocate with enthusiasm. This time though, I’m ready to curb that passion and save myself for something truly worthwhile!
So here’s to practising patience!!!