fall with me (9 hrs photoshop). more: http://www.najin.ca
We live our lives terrified of revealing ourselves. Often, it’s because we were vulnerable and hurt by previous experiences. Heck, even if we weren’t hurt before…thoughts of rejection and being taken advantage of drag on and affect our relationships. After all, being cautious is the “smarter” thing to do, right? Protect yourself emotionally to prevent yourself from looking like a love-sick fool.
I, for one, definitely lived like this. Constantly weighing out “pros and cons”, I resisted showing myself too much or too soon, in order preserve some ‘dignity’. So I’d end up analysing and looking at relationships objectively; NO exceptions. That way, I would always be above and beyond the emotions and thus the pain I knew it could yeild. So this was life…I always put myself in situations that I could handle and control.
But is that any way to LIVE?
Granted, if you open yourself up, you can get hurt; it’s gruelling. But despite the painful lows, can’t you just imagine the intense and amazing highs that are waiting to be experienced? Let me ask you this…would you rather continue living robotically, scared of sharing love because you’re scared of getting hurt…or would you rather live and truly FEEL, the way we’re innately wired to do anyway?
The way I see it…the more time I waste wondering and worrying, the less time I have to share an amazing gift with those I care about. The most amazing love I’ve ever recieved is the kind that gives and doesn’t expect anything in return. How could I possibly explore this kind of ‘unconditional love’ if I’m too scared to show any in the first place?
It’s ironic when you think about it…say you fall in love for the first time and you get hurt. *Ouch!* So you condition yourself to protect your heart because it’s the more ‘logical’ thing to do. But if you REALLY think about it, realize what you’re missing out on when you sheild yourself that way! If you don’t open yourself up, how can you possibly allow yourself to experience delirious, heart pumping, unconditional LOVE?
Scary? Hell Yes. Will it hurt? Probably.
But for the sake of allowing yourself to truly be human, take the plunge.
: ) It’s so worth it.
(excerpt from old blog)
Posted by: Yago
Date: Thursday, 2009-10-15, 6:03 Pm
There comes a time when people realize the “game (casual dating)” is not the best way to find love (in my opinon). When you play the “game” most of the time it’s to win and your reward whatever you are looking for is a boyfriend/girlfriend, sex, stroke your ego, reafirmation to whatever your shortcomings are, and some lucky breaks “love”.
Now personally I cannot play the “Game” and I do not want to play the games no more. It’s not that I’m getting older is just that it is not who I am. The ideal strategy of the “game” is to do anything possible to win and a lot of the times people refuse to lose which leads to making the wrong choice. I’m not saying that I’ve been a victim (hurt) of the wrong choices other people have but I have been a victim of my own choices playing this “Game”. Choices such as not accepting who I am, destructive activities, to pushing good people away in order to be “cool”.
So now I decided not to play the “Game” (and I guess this goes to how you carry yourself in life) but to be just me. The person I always was but too afraid to show because I thought no one will love this. But someone will have to love this if you want someone to love you so you better love yourself. Do things that are right for yourself. I don’t buy certain clothes to be trendy, I buy certain clothes because I like it and I feel I look good in it. I excercise to be healthy. I’ve accepted people for who they are (right or wrong) and I have learned more about people then I ever did. I want to accept approval than to search for it. You either love it or leave it. I
I don’t know if I’m ready for love (no one never really knows when) I would be the first to admit that yes I’m open to be taken advantage of (directly or indirectly). I’m not out there to win the “game”. If “losing (according to the “game)” a couple times means finding the ultimate love then I’m not afraid of being “hurt”. In life we risk things everyday, driving, flying, eating, and heck even walking outside. But I know one thing, I’m ready to risk for love because love in friendship and in relationship is the ultimate reward in life.