It’s an extremely uncomfortable feeling when your honesty is met by anger and disbelief. It seems I make the same “mistake” time and time again. It makes me wonder…
When is it a better idea to refrain from telling the truth? I’d like to think that I have sound discretion when I spill my beans. I obviously wouldn’t tell a friend who’s clearly going through stress that he looks awful (even if he did). But how about the gray areas–where you might hurt someone by telling them the truth, but you know that it would be harsher if they found out by some other [perhaps accidental] source? Should you tell the truth anyway?
Normally, my answer would be yes: tell the truth at all costs, especially if your best interests are focused on the grander scheme. However, lately I’ve faced some strange consequences by being honest. Directly and indirectly, I’ve been met with attitudes which brand me as naive and inconsiderate for being honest. “What they don’t know can’t hurt them” is the main rebuttal I’ve faced.
Ultimately, I think it’s best if I ignore the ridicule I’ve faced and stay true to my character. I don’t expect everyone to carry themselves in the same manner as I have. However, I know that I wouldn’t be able to tolerate myself if I pranced around, creating ignorant and temporary happiness amongst people. At the end of the day, while “ignorance is bliss”, I know that ignorance cripples you from the ability to make true choices–why would I want to encourage that kind of false reality?
(excerpt from old blog)
Posted by: rombusempire
Date: Thursday, 2009-01-29, 3:55 Pm
“When is it a better idea to refrain from telling the truth?”
As with every situation, it is crucial to look at all perspectives. In thsi example, it is important to consider the other person.
My answer is: refrain from telling the truth if doing so produces more harm than benefit for the other person. For instance, if you think your friend asks you ‘najin do you think im ugly?’ but you really do think she is ugly. You SHOULD NOT tell her ‘yes dear, I think you are ugly’. Telling her so does nothing to improve her self esteem, doesnt do YOU any good and doesnt do her any good. There is nothing heroic about sticking to a core moral principle of ‘never lie’ or any other moral principle, if the end result is harmful.
Ofcourse, what ‘you’ perceive to be harmful or not is subjective. For instance, if your friend tells you she is going to start smoking btu you know that telling her the truth about smoking will offend her and she will feel anxious, depressed, etc. In THAT case I believe you shoudl tell her, at the risk of offfending her because in the long run, cessation of smoking will produce more benefit than offending her would harm, by comparison.
But to simply stick to ‘tell the truth at all costs’ is unproductive and potentially harmful. Adding to that, it is somewhat inconsiderate, as you may harming someone else in order to adhere to your own moral values.
Afterall, what is the purpose of moral principles? Lets not argue about god’s commands and laws (because once god is brought into the picture there cannot be any discussion). The purpose of moral principles is to produce stability and cooperative existence in members of a society. We dont kill because that produces an unstable soeciety. We dont steal for the same reason. We dont rape for the same reason. If telling the truth produces instability (even small such as hurtihng someones feelings), then it is no good.
(excerpt from old blog)
Posted by: takezomiyamoto
Date: Thursday, 2009-02-05, 11:04 Am
even if you think you are doing the right thing, you might not be in their eyes. its all about “them” in the sense that they want the sanswers they want at the times they want it. usually telling the truth is in hopes of preventing or helping someone in a way or preventing some sort of pain or sadness maybe, whether it be immediately or in the future. in any situation, at least you did what you thought was right at the time you did knowing what you knew. as much as they want to hear an answer, you also want to give one. either way it harms then in one way or another as it does you depending on one’s perception.
(excerpt from old blog)
Posted by: closer
Date: Friday, 2009-02-06, 4:37 Am
If youre in a relationship, i always ask myself this question before I answer some questions…
Will my answer improve my relationship?
yes, then answer (btw its best to be honest, because if u r, u will meet more honest people and u will know when u dont)
no, then SHUT UP!