Comments on: learning patience.

By: Najin

Najin — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 16:04:34 +0000

Kas,

thanks for your thoughtful reply!
I’ve made that fatal mistake time and time again….(compromising values on account of intense limbic-system driven emotions). I think there’s major danger in waving your core values to satisfy those emotions though. Because while those intense emotions will fade, your values will not. Even if you ignore such discrepancies at the beginning, they WILL surface and negatively impact the relationship later. And [speaking from experience] it’s MUCH harder to deal with such differences later on (since you’ve likely started getting comfortable/attached to the person by that point).

Hmmm…so yes, my opinion is that it’s a mistake to compromise core values. Save your limbic system splurges for someone who will be worth it, I say!
*phew.

By: Kas

Kas — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 01:53:11 +0000

Wow, fair points you’ve made Najin! I was compelled enough to trail back via RSS.

What’s your opinion on the following – you have your identity and values set yet everytime you meet someone new, your limbic system rebels against these said values you’ve instilled in yourself and you are victim to yet another ‘oh, we click so well’?

By: Darius

Darius — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 15:27:19 +0000

I blame Hollywood!

By: Gracie

Gracie — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 04:52:04 +0000

oh no my tumblr wont let you post ><.. i'll have to fix that.
thanks for the updated post too 🙂
and fighting!

By: Cat

Cat — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 02:23:41 +0000

haha… I am guilty of diving into relationships as well. Especially when I was younger! Prior to my current relationship I actually told a guy “I would have definitely dated you when I was younger.. it would’ve been fun but I think we’d be better off as friends”.

Maybe passing up on good brings great 🙂

By: Najin

Najin — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 01:16:18 +0000

Ros,
excuse the heavy artillery…just some things I’ve been wrestling w for a while.
True that! Even if you establish your own identity, values, goals, etc though – it’s about acknowledging the importance of finding someone who is compatible with yours too. Otherwise, you end up w a partner who makes you ‘feel good’ (which is completely fleeting) over someone who’s actually good for you.
I never liked the idea of depending on someone to a point where I was convinced they ‘complete me’. Haha complete rubbish. Anyhoo, Thx for your input!!!

By: roswell

roswell — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 23:57:17 +0000

whoa, that was heavy. yah, i think people should focus on establishing their values, goals and identity before getting mixed up with someone else. the last thing you need is to use each other as an emotional crutch – expecting that other person to “complete you”. seen too many folks do this!

By: Najin

Najin — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 06:09:12 +0000

thx guys–I blabbed on to clarify any ambiguity here.
Gracie! I tried commenting back on your tumblr, but I have no idea how it works? How do I comment on your beautiful little posts?

By: Gracie

Gracie — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 08:01:08 +0000

@_@ u do??? tell me please! Will it be worth the wait? You wont regret it??

By: conan

conan — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 06:00:56 +0000

reeeeeeeeeeally? i hope you get what you want:)