So I received a pretty destructive comment on a recent post from someone who knows me in person. After a moment of shock, I decided to think about and discuss the criticism instead of attempting to ignore it ever happened.
I’ve received constructive criticism in the past and can honestly say that I appreciate it. If someone can give insight onto something I’m doing ‘wrong’ and unaware of, it can be helpful to take advice with salt grains. However, I’ve seldom received such a personalized hate message before. What’s worse is the person did not bother leaving a real name or contact detail, which imo is a pretty cowardly thing to do.
I’ve tried to understand what could lead someone to be so blatantly horrible, and not knowing who he/she was didn’t help. I tried thinking in general terms and wondered at what point people should confront those they dislike? Personally (& I think lots of people are like this), I don’t bother saying hurtful things to people I dont like. Say for example I find someone unattractive (as this person finds me), I will not go out of my way to send them ‘ anonymous’ hate mail about how ugly I think they are. I don’t see the point because its much easier to just let them live. I mean…said ugly person will not suddenly stop being unattractive because I was cruel to them. Why go out of my way?
I guess this particular person was more annoyed that I post photos (yes I’m in some of them) and she think I’m unattractive. In that case, I understand why she might be compelled to mention something out of irritation. But honestly, I do not force or harass anyone to look at my pictures and if someone is nauseated by them, it’s as simple as turning a cheek and ignoring me.
Don’t like my photos? Don’t visit my site. By all means, delete me off facebook (in fact, you’d be doing us both a favour). But to go out of your way to send an anonymous hate comment? Well… it speaks for itself.
An interesting twist to this story is I found her ip address and found out she lives at the Womens College (where I stayed my first year in Brisbane). I read that comment over and chances are more than one girl was involved in writing it. I know how cruel certain types of girls can be (especially in small groups) and it’s obvious they found it witty and funny to make use of a thesaurus and some gossip girl jargon.
How could I have avoided that message, now knowing it came from some insecure (and probably slightly bored) 19 year old girls? The only possible way is if I conformed to what suits their own personalities. Unfortunately, that might have required me to become party-crazed and slightly ditzy, which I frankly don’t have the capacity to do. I didn’t enjoy living in Women’s College for very specific reasons. While many girls I met there were sweet and open-minded, I left after my first year because I honestly couldn’t stand the lifestyle and attitudes harboured by some of the others. I think residential college is a great place to transition from high school to university, especially if you’re a new high school graduate wanting to meet others in the same stage of life as you are (while looking to experiment with partying). But for someone who has already lived through her obnoxious teens and never wants to revert back, I’m glad I left as soon as I could.
I don’t hate and am not even angry at the girl(s) who wrote that comment because I understand where she is coming from. It’s my genuine hope that she develops into a woman who carries herself with integrity and grace, instead of someone who wastes time harbouring hate and gossip. You have a greater capacity to make meaningful change using your more commendable qualities, trust me.
Anyway, so this is my rant and I’m officially done over-analysing that comment.
Overall….I’m relieved that someone I respect and trust wasn’t the author.
I’ll continue to do what I love and life will resume with a renewed force!
*phew.
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related post: people pleaser
and here i was gearing up for a drive by, haha. eloquent response.
Yeah you tell them! π Don’t be bothered by them Najin!
Btw.. we need to meet before the 30th!! O_o;;
But my last final is on the 21st.. Wanna just get dinner or Lunch with Lisa?
π
Yet we live in a world that is so imperfect it will be field with imperfect negative people. its obvious this person has too much time and see the real light within you and out of jealousy this person decides to try to tear you down in a attempt to ruin your spirit. As beautiful as you are there wouldnt be any need to worry about such trivial things najin as long as you know what you’re doing in this life is worth while nothing should’nt matter accept the love and motivation you recieve from others i learned that from you in my darkest hour in life and i’m still learning but that is the journey this person will also take remember for every wrong that is commited it always comes back karma is something we al know not to mess with this person shall find her karma and when she does she’ll see things in a different light. We are all lesson that others learn as well and she will learn from you that you’re spirit is a stronger shield that can’t be penetrated or become a torn down wall najin….. its means you doing something right to make someone become so envious of you. like always you’re beautiful inside and out that is something i for one will continue to have god chills about for days to come.
Rather then allowing external forces to control your emotions, work to understand why they control you. Build from the negativity, understand why it controls you and use that knowledge to stop itq from pulling on your emotions in the future. Simply put….
“Drive all blame to one”
@Shen….
I dont believe karma is a game were you keep score for the people you dont like and believe that “they will get whats coming”…I think thats a pretty horrible spin on karma one it was never intended to have.
@darius
i never stated that karma is a game for i take karma and its divine ways very seriously. you failed to understand what i’m saying. i wouldn’t expect you to understand for this i something that i only see coming from my own perception of what karma is and in its forms (supposed to mean) it is natural for people to learn from one another weather it be good or bad but also i welcome your opinuated answers as well you’re not perfect nor am i either. but karma as one would say (is a bitch) and it does seek us all out in some form or way. We can’t control the way karma presents itself to us we can only just learn from it.I believe someone do get what they deserve yes and that just it. Another thing is that this is someone i care deeply about that this happened to so for anyone to come and tell me on my friends page that karma isnt a bad thing? but we have to understand it? its your opinion and thats just all it is just that and for me this issue is something that is way more important than just some random strangers attempt to make me seem unintelligent….i commend you though of making me chuckle just a bit there darius even though this entry has nothing to if not anything to do with anything you just wrote just you trying to call yourself schooling me in lesson of karma im sorry but if i needed that i’ll go seek a proper person more experienced in the field luckily im glad im not you as one would say. i will not continue a pointless debate on a friends page for i have respect enough for najin to not argue with a total stranger i don’t know if you want to debate more then please email me emperor_shen@hotmail.com this is the last time i will speak on this issue i will have this conversation again.
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